They're coming out of the woodworks!

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CaptSquid
I plan to be buried in my van
Posts: 1230
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!

They're coming out of the woodworks!

Post by CaptSquid »

Hello am i am a professional hired killer
You don't know me but I know you
Because i am paid to kill you, your daughters and your boys


Everything about you I have been told this is
What I do for a living

There is only one way you can help yourself if you want to live again That
is why am WRITING you

Note: this do not involve the police
or let any one know about this, If you do I have no choice but kill you
Don’t be surprise why am letting you know
I want to help you if you will co-operate with me
Contact my email if you want to live

But if you don't have respect 4 life, be prepare to dance to the music
of the dead. I am very sorry for you , It is a pity that this is how
your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see
there is no need for me introducing myself to you because I don't have
any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to
(KILL YOU ) and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.

Someone you call a Friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person
have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to me
and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with
your name , picture and other necessary information we needed about
you. So I have sent my men to track you down in Location and they
have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation
on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I
will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or
not. Since we have find out that you are innocent.

I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I
didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I
am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are
monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you.
Get back to me immediately when you get this mail.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE,

OR ELSE I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, IN CASE I NOTICE SOMETHING
FUNNY. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

Lucky You

You can RUN but can never HIDE

Email our boss now godsent.joshua@gmail.com

------------------------------------

BTW, I get these SPAM letters on my Throw-Away account.

This is what I sent back:

You are the THIRD person to send me the same message in less than a week.

Your English is atrocious; you don't know me or where I live. The letter you sent me is
EXACTLY the same as the other two, right down to the misspellings and the line spacings.

GET A LIFE, YOU TURD!

These letters used to be amusing; now -- THEY ARE ANNOYING!

GO FIND SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO DO, LIKE SELF-ABUSE.
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4

Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!

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Kidhauler
I sleep in my van
Posts: 877
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:46 pm
Location: Vancouver B.C.

Re: They're coming out of the woodworks!

Post by Kidhauler »

Does this mean I have to stop trying to have you killed? I was just trying to win the pool from the last letter. :poke: Some people have no sense of humor. But this has got to be getti g to you. Please keep posting the replies if you get any but this is funny.
1999 Safari Touring edition.
trailer tow pack with a 3:73 posi
Bucket bench seats, Rear heat, Rear Airconditioning.
teal green
300 000 kms
AirRide air bags in the rear to fix soft stock suspension.
Onboard aircompressor to make it all work nice.
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Topic author
CaptSquid
I plan to be buried in my van
Posts: 1230
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:50 am
Location: Billings, MT, 'MERICA!

Re: They're coming out of the woodworks!

Post by CaptSquid »

It IS amusing, but these putzes won't let me know what I have to do to get off their s**t list.
Mike, Billings, MT, 'MERICA!
92 Safari SLE w/Z Motor (sold to a good home)
98 AWD Stro LS
93 Suburban Silverado 4x4

Look for the MISSING Alien in the Right Seat. AL, PHONE HOME!!!

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astroturf
ASV Supporter
ASV Supporter
Posts: 1658
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: They're coming out of the woodworks!

Post by astroturf »

To get off the Hit List...

You gotta email the Boss.

Good Luck with that, Jim
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T.Low
I plan to be buried in my van
Posts: 1768
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:11 pm
Location: Bellingham, Wa
Been thanked: 1 time

Re: They're coming out of the woodworks!

Post by T.Low »

Craigslist, for one, has turned into a farm for these people to mine email adresses. If an add looks too good to be true, they are hoping for a response so they can mine your adress and send you scam mail like this. I can't believe the people that I know who have fallen for CL scams.

I haven't been in the market for anything, so your death threats are the first I've heard of. :prayer:
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